I went to the Starbucks on Victory Blvd. yesterday day and ordered my regular iced chai tea. One woman relayed my request to the other, who was standing behind the counter, towards the back. She was dressed in Starbucks attire, but had cut her shirt to make it look like a flowing dress.
“I told you, dear girl, we can’t do chai tea today,” the woman-in-back told the barista in an annoyed yet mothering tone. Wind was blowing her hair from an unseen source. She looked at me and said, “Sorry, no chai tea today.” The cash-register-barista bowed her head and without making eye-contact and said, “sorry”. I sensed a bizarre relationship between the two baristas. I also sensed the woman-in-back practiced Wiccan. I could hear her mumbling what seemed to be a spell, as she moved her hand back and forth over another customers coffee. She also had a black tattoo across her arm that read, “Strength. Courage. Wiccan”.
“Ok,” I responded, and stepped back looking at the menu board. I thought in my head: Now what am I going to gettt. I come all the way over here and they don’t have the one thing I want. I wonder if that woman is an actual wit-c…Before I finished saying the word “witch”, I realized I was speaking outloud, not thinking in my head, and continued by saying, “Witchita State University Amlumni?” Both baristas were staring at me.
“Yeah you,” I pointed at the woman-in-back, “Did you go to Witchita State University?” She stood up [she was kneeling on one knee praying], “Yes I did,” she informed me, “Did you as well?”
“Uh huh”, I nodded my head.
“Go Shockers,” she said.
I didn’t know what kind of mascot a shocker was so I said, “How do you feel about the reputation Kansas has after the whole Wizard of Oz thing?” That was the only think I associated with Kansas. It came out like word vomit.
“Actually I think the reputation of witches portrayed in The Wizard of Oz is a more crucial topic to speak about,” she replied as she walked towards me. She pointed to a chair [it was one of those comfy sofa chairs] and when I turned to walk towards it, she was already sitting in one with an iced chai tea in her hand. Suspicious.
I noticed the woman-in-back replaced the Starbucks emblem with a painted picture of the Wicked Witch of the West [she seemed to be a decent artist].
After being lectured about witch-representation for twenty minutes, I decided to go to the bathroom and sneak out the window. I had to stand on the toilet, then pry myself up to the ledge and just barely made it out [another reason I must start to exercise]. The plan worked well until I walked past the front of the building and forgot it was made of glass windows [transparent glass windows]. I immediately tried to open the door of the car closest to me in the parking lot. It was locked and the dog inside began barking ferociously. Plan two commenced. I dropped flat to the ground and slid on concrete using my elbows. When I reached the glass door, I looked up and made eye contact with barista-witch. She didn’t react, so I concluded she was sleeping with her eyes open. I passed the Starbucks building, stood up, and ran to the deli on the corner to buy gauze for my bleeding elbows. I reached in my pocket for my car keys as the wind began to pick up. I realized I left them on the Starbucks table.