Dilute my body with water!


Recognize anyone in this picture?

No, I am not referring to the Jonas Brother lookalike center-left, but rather myself, who is standing back left, looking somewhat confused. This screenshot is taken from a video of the Jack Johnson performance off the VH1 website. I remember that day well- not the whole day actually, just the three minutes I saw Jack perform and then return to my desk. Ok, the truth is, I never even saw Jack Johnson perform that day. I walked out to see him but was overruled by my impatience, so I went back to my desk. I made the cut in the video intro though.

One minute ago, as I uttered the words [in my head] Today is I am going to officially start being healthy and being aware what I consume is what I become, a co-worker walked over to our cubicle holding a tupperware of homemade, excuse me- apartmentmade, peanut butter and jelly cookies. A temptation I succumbed to with barely any thought. DAMT IT! Today is also the day I want to dilute my body with water.

I know your supposed to drink 10 gallons of water a day and I have already drank…drunk…dranken? two cups already, only 158 more to go. For every cup I drink, I will either donate ten dollars to a charity of my choice, donate the money to a homeless person on my way to the subway or use the money to buy myself food. I regret eating the peanut and butter and jelly cookie…only because I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. Imagine if there was a sandwich with peanuts, butter, and jelly. EWW hahaha.

I am reading Chelsea Handler’s second book Are you There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea [I thought it was the first one until I read the back cover halfway through the book] It is quite H-larious, I find myself smiling as I read it. I think I laughed outloud three to four times. A woman sat next to me on the subway, saw the book, and she laughed too. Then I realized it was because she was tickling her own arm pit. Wierd. Chelsea is so vulgar. The end. I have to go pee.

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