She cut a hole in my favorite sweater.


Cool Green Big Scissors.

I lied, They are so tiny.

This is Maryellen’s scissor. She has tons of baby scissors lying around her apartment and she only uses baby forks and spoons. Maryellen is a great beatbox artist. I woke up to her beatboxing away to the lullaby “Hush little baby”. I said, “That’s a great tune Maryellen, but sing something else because I’m trying to wake up, not fall asleep.” I was lulled back to sleep and was three hours late to work. I swear, that girl is trying to sabotage my life. In the middle of the night, I saw her sitting at the foot of the bed holding the tiny green scissors along with my favorite gray and white sweater. I said, “What are you doing?” She stood up like a zombie and said in a robot voice, “I am sleepwalking.” Halfway through the work day I noticed this:

Little does she know I cut an inch off her hair while she was sleeping. Her hair actually looked really good this morning. Blasted, my plan backfired. As I was looking through her drawers for something to use as blackmail against her, I came across this.

Half of me was proud of her because it looked like she was so passionate about the art of beatboxing. The other half of me was enthused to see her with all her new friends. The other half of me was mad because she stole my street name. Everyone on the old block used to call me Becky ‘two eyed’ KRA***. Wait until Big Howard Johnson hears about this. He used to be the guy who protected me in the old neighborhood.

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