Life is OK Without Coffee.


There was a woman and a 2 year old baby on the subway this morning [I’m an expert at child age estimation]. His mother told him it was the last day he would get to drink from a bottle. When she took it away, he would cry and ask for it. She bribed him with a “big boy’s” food of the colorful cereal Fruit Loops.

This reminds me of when I decided to stop drinking coffee. It was over 7 months ago and I haven’t had a sip since. I would cry and whine when I didn’t have coffee so my mom bribed money, telling me I was a “Big girl” now. I never thought I would see the day- not because a psychic told me I would die young- but because I just really loved coffee.

I began drinking coffee during finals sophomore year in college. I remember sitting at a computer in the library watching my finger twitch because the caffeine running through my veins was so strong. I used to have one to three cups a day. I drank hot coffee in the winter and would use a lot of creamer [my favorite was french vanilla]. I drank iced coffee in the summer. I thoroughly enjoyed taking a car-ride to Dunkin Donuts to get an Medium Iced Coffee with milk and sugar.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. [cue the song, preferably one with the piano]

I was out of college and unemployed for 6 months when I decided to ban the drink from my life. The biggest reason I stopped drinking it was because I relied on it too much. If I was on a day or weekend trip and didn’t have access to coffee, I would get a major headache.

Here are the steps I took:

Order Half Decaf: Keep getting the same size drink, just order it half decaf. Example: “Hi, can I please get a medium iced coffee with milk and sugar, half regular, half decaf.” “Sure that will be 2.43” “Thank you”. I’m sure you can just order it without saying, “half regular”. It’s like, what else would they use with “half decaf”…soda? Stopping “cold turkey” will result in headaches and heartaches. “Cold Turkey” drinking it one day, then abruptly cutting it out of your life the next.

Downsize: After a few times of ordering “half decaf”, start ordering a smaller size drink. Still get it “half decaf”.

Substitute coffee for…:I got a 10am-6pm job soon after I stopped drinking coffee. I felt like I needed to drink something in it’s place. The “something” is different for everyone. At one point, I tried orange juice which worked, at one point I tried pure honey, but now I drink Iced Chai Tea from Starbucks.

I’d like to think I feel better about myself [and my body] after I eliminated coffee [from my life]. I remembering ordering the drink with sugar, then feeling the sugar crystals crunch in my teeth when I took a sip. I loved this, but I conclude it is not too healthy for me or my beautiful teeth.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t drink coffee because it will negatively effect your liver, or cause hallucinations, or make you become obsessed with jump roping, I’m just saying Life is Ok without coffee.

Coffee was my friend…Coffee was my enemy [because frankly, it made me pee a lot]. Coffee was there for me on those late night and early mornings or the times in between when I just mother effin felt like it. Goodbye coffee. There will always be a place for you in my heart. Literally, because so many cups of coffee effected my heart, so my doctor says.

My next blog post will be what to do if you’re addicted to Starbuck’s Iced Chai Tea.

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