Today, my Snapple fact under the lid said, “The world’s largest silver nugget (1840 lbs) was found in 1894 near Aspen, CO.
I was mad when I read this. What a lame fact. Who cares about silver nuggets? The only nuggets I care about are nuggets of food, known as chicken nuggets. I wasn’t interested in this fact and twisted it back onto the bottle.
I drank the diet snapple lemon iced tea. It quenched my thirst. I began thinking. You know what, finding a 1840 pound nugget of silver would actually be pretty awesome. Imagine if you wore it as a necklace? You would need a push cart just to take a walk down the street… unless you had a bionic neck.
I began thinking some more. I wonder who that man was who found the silver nugget. [Yes, I assume it was a man who found it because in those times men were the ones working, while women stayed in the kitchen… the way it should be.] I wonder if he was really excited when he was digging, or mining, or pitchforking and saw the silver surface. Maybe he said, “Crikeys, it’s a silver nugget”…or maybe he said, “Jeeze Louise, it’s a silver nugget”…or maybe he said, “Yippy Khai Ayy, I’m going to be rich”. I wonder where that man is right now. Maybe he is my guardian angel.
I slept at my friend Maryellen’s apartment in the city last night. I was walking to the bathroom to get a cupped handful of water because I was so thirsty. There was a big picture frame leaning against the side of the bed [don’t ask me why it was there, ask her] The last time I got a drink, I walked by it so quickly, that it just tipped over and crashed against the wood floor…resulting in this:
This happened at 5am. I went back to bed and said I would clean it up in the morning. The morning came. I cleaned it up. Of course, I apologized to Maryellen profusely. She was unfazed by it…What a good friend. I picked up all the big pieces. Then I picked up the little pieces. Then I swept the dusty glass. Then I took a wet paper towel and washed the floor. Hopefully I got all the pieces. I told Maryellen to wear shoes for the next two weeks. Even when she was sleeping.
I suppose I should buy Maryellen a new frame…I will use the money I made from the silver nugget I found in my mom’s jewelry box, then sold, to buy her one.