My Horoscope Changed…OR DID IT? [Enter Dramatic Music]


Yesterday, my co-worker swiveled around in her chair and urgently asked me, “when’s your birthday again?”

co-worker swiveling.

“December 17th”, I said. From this moment on,  everything I’ve once based my life off of was composed of false truths also known as lies.

“They added a new zodiac sign,” she said, “You’re on the cusp. You can go both ways”.

“How dare you accuse me of being bi-sexual,” I told her. “You know I like women”. After I realized she wasn’t trying to turn me into a hetero, I became curious about this new astrological finding.

First of all, who are “they” and how can they just add another zodiac? According to a Times Newsfeed article, “they” are “astronomers at the Minnesota Planetarium Society”.

I am on the cusp, which means I am both Ophiuchus and Sagittarius. Questions immediately arose such as, “Which sign do I associate with?” “Does this make me more special because I am both?” “How do you pronounce the word “Ophiuchus”?

But before you get the tattoo on your wrist surgically removed, or go to a CASH FOR GOLD stand in the mall to trade in your Virgo charm bracelet, or get a refund for seeing the play “Hair” because the song “Age of Aquarius” should really be “Age of  Pisces”, read below.

According to this CNN News Blog“If [you] adhered to the tropical zodiac – which, if [you’re] a Westerner, [you] probably did – absolutely nothing has changed for [you].That’s worth rephrasing: If you considered yourself a Cancer under the tropical zodiac last week, you’re still a Cancer under the same zodiac this week.

That’s because the tropical zodiac – which is fixed to seasons, and which Western astrology adheres to – differs from the sidereal zodiac – which is fixed to constellations and is followed more in the East, and is the type of zodiac to which the Star Tribune article ultimately refers.”

ABC News also agrees that, “your astrological sign has not changed. What has changed, subtly and very gradually, is the tilt of the earth’s axis as it revolves around the sun.”

Therefore, I still associate myself with being a Sagittarius. The way my sister associates with being a Cancer. The way Judy Garland associates with being a Gemini. [shoutout Judy]

 

 

ily.

 

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