My Massage Experience…


My parents gave me massage gift certificate for Christmas 2009 and I redeemed it today, even though it was past its expiration. My mom is a smooth talker when it comes to negotiating with sales people.

This was the first massage I’ve had in years and I didn’t quite know what to expect. Here is what happened:

I was taken into a side room of the salon. My first thought was “It’s nice and warm in here”. They keep the room warm, I found out, because the woman soon told me to “remove everything but my panties”. Part of me knew that was coming. I assumed I would just have to take off my shirt, not my pants too. She left the room. I got undressed and got under the blanket, putting my head in the face holder at the end of the table. I didn’t want to be rude when she walked back in, so I put my elbows on the table to hold up my head, smiling at her when she walked in. I kept looking at her, then began to feel silly.

“Liebestraum” was playing from the CD player. That is one of my favorite piano pieces. I was impressed. The environment was extremely relaxing.

Martha [not sure her name, but she looked like a martha], took a piping hot white towel and put it on my back which felt great. I then realized she was cleaning me off before she began the massage. She wiped down my back, arms, then legs. I felt insulted that she thought I was dirty. I took a shower right before I got there.

She poured baby oil on my back and began the massage. She asked me if it was ok and I gave two thumbs up.

Things were going well. Tension in my back was being released. Soon Martha’s hands approached my neck and I began daydreaming. The scenario came into my head what I would do if she started to choke me. I concluded I would first head butt her, begin to squirm, and kick her from behind with my legs. Would I have enough time to do so before I passed out?

I then thought about what would happen if the fire alarm went off and everyone had to run out of the building quickly. Would I grab my shirt? or just run out in a towel? Would I even have time to grab the towel? Would Martha save me over herself? Would I save Martha over myself?

I wondered if she had extremely strong hands from all the exercise she got from performing massages. They must be in really good shape.

After this one experience, I have become addicted to massages. I will get one once a week for the next thirty years. Here is me, relaxed, after the massage.

My dog was relaxed too:

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One thought on “My Massage Experience…

  1. you’re supposed to be relaxing! not having horrific thoughts of everything bad that could happen. hahaha.

    your dog is so sweet and your house looks so christmassy : )

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