Must. Not. Grab. The String Beans.


I have to physically restrain myself every time I pass string  beans.

If I did not restrain myself, I would pick them up by the handful and run around the store asking customers, “Do you want these?” in a British accent.

Even if the customer says, “No”, I throw the beans into their shopping cart. Then run and get another handful.

I’ve been banned from 19 of the 20 shopping centers on Staten Island. It is a great struggle to fight my inner feelings.

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