I met my friend Tom in midtown Manhattan this morning at Speedy’s cafe. To plan our monthly comedy variety show. Called Major Babe Time. The cafe could be called Speedy’s because the quick food service. Or because maybe the place is owned by Speedy Gonzalez. The tiny cartoon mouse known for being “The fastest mouse in all of Mexico.” During […]
1. GaGa GooGoo I’m A Wittle Baby, Becky 2. Muffin Man Vengeance, Becky 3. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Where Are My Car Keys, Becky 4. Sylvester Stallone’s Tooth, Becky 5. I Have A Little Tongue, Becky 6. She Was There To Sell Makeup, But The Father Saw More, Becky 7. Meanwhile Back On the […]
Here is a photo of the journals I’ve kept in my life. Starting in 1994 until the present time of 2013. Here are a few entries: 1994 (7 yrs. old) 1998 (9 yrs. old) 2000 (12 yrs. old) 2000 (12 yrs. old) *Yes, that drawing of me is extremely accurate. 2000 (13 yrs. old) !!! Today […]
Last night, my 94-year-old grandma took my hand and said, “You’re going to meet the best one on the boat. And going to have the best trip in the book.” Which is why I have quit my job, maxed out my credit card and booked myself on 12 around-the-world singles cruises.
I just brought a coffee from 7-Eleven. Medium with French Vanilla creamer. I go to this store often. Today there was a new cashier whom I’d never seen. “Happy New Year,” the 60-year old worker said to me. “Happy New Year,” I responded with a smile. “Any plans?” I asked him. “Party!” he said doing […]
I won $40 dollars in a “WIN FOR LIFE” lotto scratch off today! With my winnings, I could buy: 1) 20 more WIN FOR LIFE lotto tickets 2) 30 small cups of work cafeteria iced coffee 3) 400 pieces of Bazooka chewing gum 3) One blouse from Ann Taylor LOFT 4) Two blouses from Forever […]
My co-worker has been leaving plastic bottles above my desk. They are too high for me to reach. I could throw a rock to knock them off, but I don’t own a rock. I wrote him a note revealing my thoughts on his actions.
Does it ever happen to you where you’re wearing sunglasses and the sun hits them a certain way that lets you see your eye REALLY close up reflected in the lens? That happened to me today while commuting on the bus. It was like, “HELLO extreme closeup of my eye lash and eye”. On a […]
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