It’s A Case!

Last night I had a dream. Strike that, it was an absolute nightmare. In it, my 24-hour-old IPHONE 4 rested innocently in my pocket. I received a text from none other than country singer Martina McBride. As I was reading the text that said, “Follow Your Dreams, Girl,” the phone slipped from my grasp, crashing […]

Advice From a Baby

I met this baby in the back of a small shop in Colorado. It [I couldn’t tell if it were a girl or boy] gave me really good advice. Here is some knowledge that I left with: 1) Never leave your drink unattended. The baby told me about a time it left it’s bottle of […]

Life is OK Without Coffee.

There was a woman and a 2 year old baby on the subway this morning [I’m an expert at child age estimation]. His mother told him it was the last day he would get to drink from a bottle. When she took it away, he would cry and ask for it. She bribed him with […]

Sandra Bullock tried to adopt me!

Today is April 28, 2010 A.D. The day that I discovered Sandra Bullock adopted a baby from New Orleans. I read about this story on AOL mail, which is embarrassing considering I have been on-and-off again friends with her for over a decade now. The last time I heard from her was a text on […]